The FMA Alphabet
by BreakfastyGoodness
Summary: A series of completely and utterly random oneshots, all in alphabetical order. OneShots so far: ABCDEF. T just in case for later chapters. XD
1. A is for Al's PMS

**This is the first one-shot of an alphabetical series of FMA one-shots! And WARNING!THEYARERANDOM! XD They are written by Snowing Petals and I! (Go to her profile and it's there too!)**

**At the bottom is my co-authoress' comment on this. I get to comment next chapter on her one-shot:D w00t!**

**Snowing Petals: By the way, at the bottom of each uh… chapter… thing We'll be having a weird convo. No it's not a piece of toast and a muffin talking to each other -.- I am Muffin for those of you who read my proffy and Jess is Toast. So ya. ENJOY!! **

**--**

**The FMA Alphabet**

_**-1-**_

_**Al's PMS**_

_**By He-Didn't-Betray-Us (Jess)**_

--

It was one of those days. You know, the ones that kinda make you wanna go "OMIGOSH! IT'S THE MOST BEAUTIFUL DAY EVAHH!" and burst into song? Yeah. One of those days. But anyway…

It was the same at Central. Dude, even _Mustang_ was skipping through the halls, although he was tripping over golf balls that were being shot by Havoc, who was probably drunk. But yeah. That has nothing to with this. Or does it? Dun dun DUUUUN!...But seriously…it doesn't. So back to our…thingamaggig.

Yes. It was such a good day that our lazy colonel was _skipping_. Through the halls of Central. And he just so happened to run into a PMS-ing Alphonse. Do suits of armor PMS, you may ask? They do now.

"WHAT THE _–beep-_ IS WRONG WITH YOU, YOU _–beep-_ COLONEL!? DO I HAVE TO _–beep,-beep-_ OR _–beeeeep-!?!"_

The Colonel stared at Alphonse. Kinda like this : **Oo**

Alphonse began to make sobbing noises. "OMIGOSH! I'm so sorry Colonel! I didn't –_sniffle_- mean to!" He began sobbing…even though I don't think armor can sob either…

….

What was I going to say again? Oh yeah!

So, Al was sobbing and our dear friend Roy had no idea what to do. Because he knew underneath all that armor and shit, Alphonse was still just a boy. I think…do you? O.O

But yeah…why don't we take a look inside Mustang's mind to see what's goin' on in there?

--

_((Mustang's Mind O.O))_

_Little Mini-Mustangs are running in circles. _

"_HOLY SHNIT WHAT DO WE DOOO!?" Yelled Mini-Mustang 1._

"_IDONTKNOW!" Cried Mini-Mustang 2._

"_I LIKE MEESES!" Yelled Mini-Mustang 3._

…_.Mustang's mind fell silent…_

--

So yeah. Obviously, Roy really DIDN'T know what to do. So he awkwardly gave Al a pat on the back and said, "Erm…It's..okay Alphonse…it ..er…wasn't your fault…"

Alphonse suddenly stood up and said in a cocky voice. "Yeah you're right! It wasn't my fault!" And he laughed. Roy's faced once again gained the Oo quality.

And then again, Al gave Mustang an angry look. "You'll pay for this, Colonel." And then he laughed evilly. Lightning and all.

And with that, he walked away leaving Roy in his wake. Oo

And who is our next victim, you might ask? Why, Edward, of course!

--

Ed was sitting in his room in the military dorm-thingys. He was eating cheese and reading. OMG CHEESE! _–coughs-_ Yeaaahhh…. Anyway..

Ed was reading a book on how crayons are made. Why? I have no idea. It was first thing I came up with. HOW WOULD I KNOW WHAT HE'S READING!?

….

……I mean…I love you? Ehehehe…

Sooo….he was reading…about crayons. Crayola crayons. Cause they're like Crayolalicious. My new word. But then, Alphonse burst in through the door, scaring the bejeezus out of Ed. I don't care if I didn't spell that right. So XD!

Back to Ed and Al. Alphonse wrenched the book out of Ed's hands **_(Ed made a whining noise (1)) _**and gave him a stern paternal-ish look.

"What are you doing, Edward Leslie Elric?!?" **_(2)_**

Edward knew he was in trouble. Alphonse never said his whole name unless:

He was in trouble

Mustang had done something

Al was PMS-ing.

He hoped it was the second one. But unfortunately, it was not Ed's day.

"I was…reading…" Ed said slowly.

Alphonse glared now. "What, you think I'm STUPID or something? I can still HEAR you know!"

Ed gulped and down into his chair.

"DON'T YOU TRY TO GET AWAY FROM ME, ELE!"

Ed looked confused. "Ele?" **_(Said Elly xP)_**

Alphonse shrugged. "Your name is too long." He gave Ed the angry look again. "But back to what I was saying! Reading? A likely story!"

Ed gave Al the same look Roy had given Al. Alphonse began to cry…again.

"You don't have to be so mean, brother!" Al cried.

Ed said nothing.

Al jumped up, angry once again. "YOU KNOW WHAT? I HATE YOU, BROTHER!"

Ed was hurt now. More than a tape thingy to the face hurts**_. (3)_** Ed jumped up and said dramatically (Broadway-style) "Oh gosh brother! I think you need MEDICATIIIIOOOON!" He sang the last part. Why? Cause it's fun.

Al looked thoughtful. "You know, you're probably right. But I still hate you."

And so, on the fateful day, we discovered Al can PMS, Roy got a psychologist, and Ed likes crayons. And Havoc really was drunk. So…Until next time!

--

_**1 – AWWW! SO KAWAIIII! –huggles Ed-**_

_**2 – OMG. No idea where that came from. Rofl.**_

_**3 - That happened to me today. You know those tapey-things that hold the tape? Yeah. Some girl in my class named Paola threw one at me. T.T It hurts.**_

--

**Muffin: I be Muffin :D Raawr!**

**Toast: And I is Toast! Woot! _–dances-_**

**Muffin: Okay so there were a few spelling and grammar errors that I took the liberty of fixing **

**Toast: And I thank you :D**

**Muffin: Other than that, though, I found it hilarious X)**

**Toast: I was hyperrr. Isn't that fun!?! And no. I don't have ADD. HAHA!**

**Muffin: _-laughs-_ yes, of course. Well, we're out. Peace out, yo _–does a strange peace sign thing-_ gangsta.**

**Toast: … Right… SEE YA! BYE!! But don't forget, next chapter is MUFFIN'S first FMA Alphabet one-shot! WOO!**

**Muffin:D W00T! Now...**

**Both: Review or we'll get Ed to sic his crayons on you. _–glare-_**

**Ed: NOOOOOO! MYYY PRECIOUSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!**

**Both: … O,o Raaight… **


	2. B is for Birds and the Bees

**--**

_**-2-**_

Birds and the Bees 

_**By Snowing Petals (Kailee –Muffin-)**_

--

Edward sulkily sat on the couch in the Colonel's office. Roy had left for a while, after calling Ed in to his office for an 'urgent' meeting. Ed slouched a bit as he listened to the ticking of the clock, which was playing his last nerve. He sat up a bit as the door swung open. Al was shoved into the room closely followed by Roy who tugged Wrath inside and quickly shut the door. "Sit!" Roy grinned at them, back against the door. Al quickly jolted over to the couch to sit next to his brother. "You too, Wrath," Roy snapped as he locked the door.

Wrath rolled his eyes and ambled over to the couch. Alphonse quickly shuffled over to make room for Wrath who plopped down on the couch in the empty space. Roy kept his hands firmly on the doorknob, behind his back, for a few moments before he decided to let go. "What the hell did you bring us here for? AND WHY ME?!" Wrath glared at him.

"Boys, I think it's time we had a little talk."

"Oh god," Ed and Wrath grimaced, as Al turned 50 shades of red in about 5 seconds.

Roy sat on the coffee table in front of them but moved it back a bit so that he was out of kicking distance. "See… there'll come a time in your life when you'll fall in love…"

Wrath quickly stood up, glaring ferociously at Roy. "I'm leaving."

"Ooh no. This isn't something to be shamed about." Roy grabbed Wrath by the arm and pushed him back down onto the couch. "As I was saying… When you fall in love… You'll want to… do things with that person…" Roy was cut off.

"So you're saying you've fallen in love a million times?" Edward asked, smirking.

"Edward. Shut up," Roy glared daggers at him.

"Bite me."

"… Anyways…"

Al quickly cut in, "Colonel… This really isn't necessary… we've already learnt-" but was cut off with a glare from Roy.

"Please, Al. It's rude to cut off you're elders."

"But you didn't get mad when-"

"Al."

"Sorry…"

"Where was I…? Oh yeah. You'll want to do many things. Touch them, in many places, kiss them, in many places, do things, unimaginable to some of you," he glanced at Al, "And not so much others." A glance sent towards Ed.

"SHE'S JUST MY MECHANIC!"

"I didn't say anything, Edward."

Edward turned beat red, "You were suggesting it!"

"Was not."

"Were too!"

"Was not."

"WERE TOO!"

"Sure, sure. Can I _PLEASE_ continue?"

Edward crossed his arms and sunk into the chair, mumbling.

"Alrighty… So, where was I?" Roy glanced at the boys as if expecting them to tell him. "… Umm.. Right unimaginable things. And at some point you may have the chance to and, woo boy, will you enjoy it."

"EEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!" all three boys yelled.

"Oh, be quiet," Roy rolled his eyes.

There was a long moment of silence.

"Good. Now, there's this thing called sex…"

All three boys stood up. "WE'RE LEAVING!!"

"Now wait just a--" Roy was cut off by the glint of Ed's automail arm sword thingy…

"We. Are. Leaving." Edward confirmed.

"Leaving. Right. Okay. Well, we'll continue some oth-" another glint, "-er, um, never…" Roy coughed.

Edward glared at him until the door shut behind Wrath and Al. Roy sat there for a few moments of complete silence, Ed still staring at him. "Uhh… Soo…" Ed slinked back over to the couch to sit in front of Roy. "Umm.. continue?"

Roy looked at him, startled. "Wha?"

Edward turned a deep shade of red. "Continue?"

Roy suddenly brightened and perked up. "Well if you insist."

-

_**And so Ed chose the horrible fate of having the complete talk from Roy. Why? Cause I made Jess choose a random name, she not knowing why. And unfortunately, Ed was the one she picked. So, BWAHAHAHAHAHA!**_

--

**Toast: -_is crying in a corner_- OH, MY POOR EDWARD! I'M SORRY! –_crying-_**

**Muffin: …**

**Toast: -quickly stops- I...uh…had something in my eye…**

**Muffin: …Right…**

**Toast: Anyway, it was FUNNY! XD But all I did was a little italic here and a spelly thingy there. And a few grammar things. But that's it. So, not much to edit. It's great.**

**Muffin:D**

**Both: Review or Roy will give YOU the talk!**

**Ed: -runs out of the Colonel's office screaming- EWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWEWWWWWW! **


	3. C is for Can I?

**Toast: Uhm…UMM!!...DYUAISGHDFTRH!! Okay. Got my hyperness out. WAIT! I NEED IT BACK! UWAHHH!**

**Muffin: …Alright while she's trying to find her hyperness… we both took a weird quiz thinger and hers said she's supposed to marry Ed… Mine said I'm to marry Al! _–huggles Al-_ I LUFFLES YOU AL!!! _–clears throat- _Right. Uhh… So, back to you, Toast!!**

**Toast:…Okay. I'm hyper now. –breathes deeply- This is Toast. IT'S MY TURN! XD Now forr…**

**THE LETTER C! w00t!**

**Oh and before we begin... I LUVVELS YOU EDO! -glomps-**

--

_**# 3- C**_

_**Can I…?**_

_**By He-Didn't-Betray-Us**_

_**--**_

It was just another normal day for our chibi alchemist friend, Edward Elric.

…Well, as normal as his day could be, anyway.

So, Edward was in his room reading a book about the Philosopher's Stone...again. But he hadn't read this one before. And it seemed to be a lot more informative than the others...ZOMG A KITTY!

Heck, I'm turning into Alphonse.

"Shut up, would you?" Ed growled.

…O.O….You can hear m- erm, us?

"Duh." Ed rolled his eyes.

Sheesh. Meanie. Anyway, Ed was reading, weren't you Ed?

"I am reading, doofus."

Suddenly a bunch of rabid squirrels ran up to Ed and stared at him menacingly. Get the picture, Ed?

"EEP! OKAY I GET IT I GET IT!"

And thus, the squirrels disappeared. Now, back to the day that….

….erm…that would give away the story. So, back to Ed's 'normal' day.

Edward was just about to read a really good part (What? Some kind of suspense novel? O.O) when suddenly Alphonse burst through the door.

"EEK!" Ed shrieked (Yes Ed. Shrieked) and dropped his book. Oh darn.

"Nii-san, can I have this kitty?" Al pleaded, and held out the adorable kitty-ness that was the kitteh. 8D

Yeah, I know I have mental problems. Deal with it.

Ed shook his head. "No, Al. How many times do I have to tell you this?"

Al looked sad and walked out with the kitty. Ed picked his book back up and tried to find his place. Unfortunately, it was like 1,723,891,323,213,627,836,128,731,293,231 pages thick, so it was going to take a while.

….Sigh.

But THEN, Winry came through the door. Ed looked up. "Yeees?" he said.

Winry said, "Can I borrow a book?"

Ed twitched but then said. "Sure." And so, Winry took a book. Woo.

Ed went back to flipping……..Sigh…….

BUT THEN!

_ENVY_ came through the door. WTF?

Envy pointed at Ed. "Hey, chibi! Can I kill you!?"

Ed twitched and snapped, "NO! You cannot!"

Envy sulked out of the room. Weird.

And so, Ed was….well…you got it by now, right?

BUT THEEEN!

Sasuke came through the door and looked around. He saw Ed.

"Hey, you got a map?" he asked.

Ed glared at him. "Yeah.."

Sasuke said "Can I borrow it? I got the wrong story.."

Ed threw the map at his face. He was getting fed up with this Can I? crap.

"Thanks man." And with that, Sasuke walked out……Is he a hippy?

While I'm pondering this, Ed will continue flipping through his book. Rawr.

Ed was randomly looking at the pretty pictures that were also in the book. Oooooh, purdy.

Ed was so distracted that he didn't notice Riza come through the door.

"Hey Ed! Can I borrow this?" She held up a book.

Ed twitched again but said "Sure.."

And Riza walked out with the book. Woo!

And now, back to Ed and his flipping. He was now on page….

The door slammed open. AGAIN.

"CAN I HUG YOU!?" some random guy asked. Yes. I said guy.

Ed twitched…again…and said. "NO NOW GET THE &#! OUT!"

And the dude left.

And so, Ed looked back at the book. He was one page away from his page when….

BUBBLEGUM AND PONIES FELL FROM THE SKY! WOOT!

….Yeah. Not really.

But hey, I have the power right:D

Okay okay. So what REALLY happened was…

THE DOOR OPENED!...Again……

And this time everyone who had asked Ed a question came in. And all asked at once. So Ed was surrounded by "Can I.." this and "Can I.." that. Finally, Ed got so fed up he yelled (and if you've ever heard Ed yell….well…you get my point..) "SHUT THE HELL UP!"

And everyone was silent.

Ed growled. "The next person who says the words 'Can I' is going to die."

And suddenly, Roy came through the magical door, being stalked by rainbows.

….Don't ask.

But Roy looked at Ed and said… "Yo, FullMetal. Can I--?"

But Roy was cut off when Ed rawred at him and flew at him and began biting off his arms and legs.

And that, my dear friends, was the end of Roy Mustang. A rabid death by a chibi. THE END!

--

**For all you Roy fangirls, it is Kailee's fault he's dead. Blame her. :D She picked Roy and rabid death. XD**

**--**

**And here's our random chatty thingerr!**

**Toast: SOOO?! How'd you liiike itt? I think it's horrible. –sniffle-**

**Muffin: MWAHAHAHAHAHA!! PAYBACK ON ROY!!!!!! **

**Toast: … o.O…**

**Muffin: And I LUFFLED eet! Yay! **

**Toast: WOO!**

**Muffin: Hey Edo-kuuuuuun!?**

**Ed::Answering machine:: _-Hi, you've reached Ed. I is currently eating Roy. Please leave a message after the beep.- Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep…_**

**Both: O.O…… **

**Muffin: Uhmm… Right well, Edo-kun? Can I—AUGH! _-and so she faced the horrible death of being eated by Edo… Wow…-_ **

**Toast: Uh… you know she was supposed to marry your brother… right?**

**Al: _-runs in-_ BROTHER!! WHAT DID YOU DO?! **

**Ed: _-wipes mouth- _… um… _-runs away-_**

**Al: BROTHER!!**

**  
Ed: _-hides behind Toast-_**

**Toast: Uhh… Ed didn't do anything!! No! Muffin just… went to the store! Yeah!**

**Ghost: _-rises from the dead… ooohhh aaahh…- _TOAST! YOU BIG MEANIE!!! _–runs away crying-_**

**Muffin: _-walks in, eating an apple, with a grocery bag.- _Hey guys! What's up?**

**Everyone: O.O**

**Muffin: …What?**

**Al: _-hugs Muffin-_**

**Muffin: … Eh?**

**Ed and Toast: …O.O… _-faints Romeo and Juliet style-_**

**Muffin: Can someone explain things to me? Ugh. Whatever. Please review!!**


	4. D is for Double

**-**_**very mad at Muffin right now**_**- She was bugging **_**ME**_** about one of **_**MY **_**stories, and yet **_**SHE **_**won't work on**_** THIS**_** one!!!!!**

…**so I'm going to. HA!**

**Yeah…I changed my real screen name, too. I am now **_**Riku Obsessive. **_**:D**

…**woo**

**This is two separate one-shots, cause they're both short and I couldn't pick one…**

--

_**#4 – D**_

_**Part Number One**_

_**Demyx **_

_**By **__**Riku Obsessive**__** (Jess)**_

--

"Crapcrapnonono! x x x x !! TRIANGLE! **X**! Down down down...CU- _**FRICK**_!" _Tap, click, tappity clickity…:D_

The noises from the living room. Ah, wonders of life…

"_Gotcha now!" _

"**JKDSHUETWHJDSJ**!!!!" _FWOOSH! CRASH! REOWR!_

"Ed, _what_ are you doing in there?" Roy called from the kitchen. Yes, _Roy. _No, this is not RoyEd (_no matter how much I love it :D_) this is just Ed and Al living with Roy until they find somewhere else to stay. So, yeah. Roy got no reply.

"Edward, I asked you a question…" Roy said, walking through the doorway to say a shattered window, little glass shards on the floor, and Ed glaring heatedly at the TV screen. Which had two options on it. '_Continue_' or '_Load Game'_.

"I can't freaking **BEAT** this guy!" Ed growled, still glaring at the screen.

Roy looked confused. "Who, Sora? I thought you _played_ So-"

"No, not _Sora_, you ding-dong! _Demyx_!"

Roy stared. "…….Isn't he like…one of the easie-"

"Shut** up**!" Ed shouted at him, throwing the game case at his head.

"EEP!" Roy ducked and it fell in the pancake batter.

"_CRAP_!" Ed shouted again, and started pacing, muttering to himself.

"What now?" Roy sighed.

Ed muttered something.

Roy blinked. "Fwah?"

"I said 'I threw the controller out the window and now the case is ruined, what am I gonna do?' " Ed grumbled.

Roy blinked and walked over to the window. There was, in fact, a small black controller on the top of a pile of garbage….maybe the kitties would eat it.

"Well…I have another controller…" Roy said slowly, unsure if he could give it to Ed. That controller was his pwecious, he didn't want it thrown out teh scawy window of DEWM!

Ed grinned. "Really!? Thanks, Mustang!" And Ed followed Roy to get it.

….

_**A few minutes later…**_

….

"_Dance, water, dance!"_

"Oh not this again…"

Roy heard from the living room…again.

"_Gotcha now!"_

"STFU, **BSTRD**!" Roy blinked. _The hell..?_

"Uhh…Ed?" Roy looked back into the living room where, once again, a lazy looking Sora was standing with the words '_Continue_' or '_Load Game'_.

"I _**STILL**_ can't beat him!" Ed shouted glaring at the screen. "Well, fukkyuu Demyx."

Roy sighed. "Ed, it's a ga-"

Ed glared at him. "Don't. You. **Dare**. Say. That." Ed bit out each word. "Sora and Riku are as **REAL** as _ME_!"

Roy stared at him. "…but you're not real…"

Ed gave him a look that said _'Duh, genius'_. "Exactly." And he selected '_Continue_'.

And Roy sat down on the couch to watch.

…

_**A few more minutes later**_

…

"Triangle! **X, x, x, x** triangle, **x, x, x** tri- FNICK!" Ed had lost. Again.

Roy gave him a weird look. _Fnick…?_

Ed threw the controller on the ground and glared at it. "I give up, you freakish Organization. Happy?"

"Nope!"

Ed blinked. "Whoa, now I'm hearing voices…"

"Nu-uh…It's me Ed…"

Ed looked scared. "Oh my Gawd…IT'S XEMNAS! HE'S COME TO KILL ME!" Ed screeched, running in circles.

Roy stared at him. "Ed…that was Al." He pointed over his shoulder at Al, who waved.

Ed slowed down, and finally stopped. "…..I knew that…."

Al looked at the half-dead-looking Sora on the screen. "Hey…can I try, Ed?"

Ed stared at Al. "Sure, but don't expect to beat Demyx. You've never played before."

Al smiled. "Okay." He took the controller and '_Continue_'d.

_**Perhaps 5 minutes later**_

"See, Al, I told you you weren't gonna-"

_**Fwooosshhh**__…_ (Y'know, the slow motion sound it makes when you beat someone:D)

…silence.

Al blinked. "Wow, that was easy. And fun. I see why you like this game now, Ed." And he handed him the controller and walked away, leaving Roy cracking up and Ed sputtering with a controller in his hands behind him.

Teh Endness. .

--

_**#4 – D**_

_**Part Number Two**_

_**Ding-Dong**_

_**By **__**Riku Obsessive**_

--

Roy was in his kitchen, making dee-lish pancakes, because that was what he was in the mood for. In the other room, he had turned on his Rascal Flatts CD out of boredness, and it was playing '_Love You Out Loud'_ and he was singing along….

…_really_ badly, and **very** loud. In his yellow with pink and green polka dotted apron.

Scary thought, no?

Anyway, he was singing the chorus at the moment. It sorta went like this.

_I'm gonna stand on a rooftop_

_Climb up a mountaintop_

_Baby, scream and shout_

_I wanna sing it on the radio,_

_Show it on a –_

"**DING-DONG!"**

Roy jumped about three feet in the air, his apron flying off. _What the..?_

"_**DING-DONG**_**!"**

Roy looked around the kitchen, but no one was there besides himself.

"DING. DONG."

Roy huffed and stomped out of the kitchen. He looked around the living room.

Empty.

"DING. FRICKIN. DONG."

Roy growled, stalking upstairs. Still nothing.

"DING. FRICKITY. DONG, MUSTANG!"

Wait…Roy knew that voice…

He rushed to his front door and opened it, just as Edward was shouting something.

"DI- oh, hiya Mustang."

Roy blinked at him. "Fullmetal…were you making doorbell noises?"

Ed nodded. "Uh-huh. 'Cause you don't have one…"

Roy rolled his eyes. "Well that's 'cause I don't want one..."

Ed blinked at him. "How do you know people are at your door?"

Roy stared. "Uh…_knocking_?"

Ed gasped. "But…but…but….what about the poor _tree_?"

Roy stared some more. "Edward….the tree is _**dead**_…"

Ed started sobbing. "THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT DOESN'T HAVE _**FEELINGS**_! YOU'RE EVIL, MUSTANG!" And he ran away crying.

Roy stared after him, before shouting. "YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT! RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN, YOU….YOU…_DING-DONG_!"

**Official End :D**

--

_**Yush, I do love Kingdom Hearts and Organization XIII. Why do you ask? n.n**_

_**So? Was it wicked osm? Yeah, it wasn't, I know.**_

…_**No Muffin-Toast talk, sorry.**_

_**R&R anyway, perleaaasee…**_

_**Or Demyx will beat you with his sitar. O: Yeah, not really…**_

…_**.But R&R anyway…I'll stop now…**_


	5. E is for Emergency

**Blargh... I'm sorry my creative hyper active mind's gone on vacation along with my smart mind... and my sence of balance... and pretty much everything else... _-is a total klutz atm-_ anyhoo This is really short because... well because of that... so nyeh. Sorry XO I swear I'll try to make the next one longer! I SWEAR!!!!1ONE!**

--

-5-

EMERGENCY!!!

By Muffin!

--

It was a lovely afternoon in Central! The birds were chirping, the children were laughing, the paperwork was snoring… Wait what?!

… Whatever…

Anyways… Quiet day. Yada, yada…

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"

Roy jumped up, startled from his… somewhat peaceful sleep. "AAAAAAHH! NOO!!! THE WAFFLES ARE GOING TO EAT ME!!!!!!!!"

The office fell silent and stared in his direction.

"Errr… I mean… I'm almost done!" He coughed and slumped down in his chair.

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-OOOOOOOOOOOOOO-WEEEEEEEEEEEEE-OOOOOOOOO!!"

Roy sighed and rolled his eyes. What was that pest up to today?

"WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE… OOOOOOOOOOOOOOO… WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE… OOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

Roy twitched and went back to his paperwork… the whole 4 feet of it… Hahaha Sucker.

"WEEEEEEEEEE!!! OOOOOOOOOOOO!!! WEEEEEEEEEE!!! OOOOOOOO!!!!!"

Roy slammed his hands down on the desk and stood up. "WOULD SOMEONE SHUT HIM UP?!"

The only response he got was a couple shrugs and another round of the yelling from the boy. "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!11 ONE, ONE, ELEVEN!!!!"

Roy growled to himself and sat back down, rummaging around his desk for earplugs.

Ed plopped himself on the pile of paperwork and slapped Roy. "I SAID WEE FREAKING OO BIZNITCH!"

Roy blinked a couple times before putting a hand to his cheek and looking at Ed like 'OMG! NO YOU DI-INT!' cuz he's cool like that… "What the hell did you do that for?!"

Ed shrugged. "Felt like it."

"………………………….." Roy was silent for a few moments before bursting into tears. "WAAHH!! I'M TELLING HAWKEYE!!!!!!"

"Okay…"

… yeah and so Roy ran out of the room crying for Hawkeye… I now officially take back my comment about Roy being cool…

--

**Muffin: Yup. So that was the sad little chapter... I'm sorry XO  
Toast: D'aww it's okay..._ -whispers to readers-_ I'll try to finish F asap for you guys.  
Muffin: -- don't think I cant read that, Otouto-chan.  
Toast: ...ehehe... I'm gonna gooo... read... stuff... now...yeah...kthnx.  
Muffin: _-watches Toast run away- _... meh... that leaves me to say... SORRY FOR THE SHORT CHAPTER! Please R&R! We looooooove it when you R&R! ) And flame if you wanna... We use flames to cook us muffins and toast...s... ya. Demyx, Outty!  
Toast: _-from another room- _AND ROXAS, TOO!  
Muffin: lol. fine then. Demyx _and Roxas_, Outty!**


	6. F is for Fun

_**Ahhh, and I said I would update. Now you all now that I'm a big fat liar.**_

_**Srsly.**_

--

_F is for FUN_

_By Toast :DDD_

-

It was a _b-e-a-utiful _day in Central. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, the monkey was climbing the tree…

Wait, what?

Nevermind.

Anyway, Roy was having a pretty good day. He had no paperwork _(because, miraculously, he had already finished it. HOMG, APOCALYPSE?) _and so he could just lounge around if he felt like it.

Except for _ooooone_ teensy itty-bitty detail.

"WEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOO!"

_It_ was still there. And guess who had to look after _it?_

No, _not_ Roy, you freaking imbeciles.

Wait.

It is Roy.

….Anyway.

"WEEEEEOOOO!"

"WOULD YOU SHUT UP!?" Roy screeched- girlishly- smacking his hands on the desk and sending old papers flying.

Ed paused, then turned to look at Mustang. He sniffled. "Y-You don't love me anymore?"

Roy stared at Ed for a loooong time.

Ed sobbed. "I'M TELLING HAWKEYE!" He ran out the door.

Roy sighed and sat back down. Finally, some peace.

"F IS FOR FROLIC THROUGH ALL THE FLOWERS."

Somehow, Roy didn't think Ed would ever leave.

--

_**LOL shortness.**_

_**Just kill me.**_

_**Plzkthnxbai.**_


End file.
